Welcome to Awesomesville

It's been a while since my last post. I lost the zeal. I lost my patience. I lost a year. I lost a person. I lost a Mum. I lost the zeal to tell whoever cared to read about my life, coz honestly there was really nothing to tell. I lost my patience for "friends" who di'n care as they should, who refused to be there as they should've. I lost a year at school because apparently I wasn't serious enough.. I lost a person, a friend, to the chilly fingers of death in the most painful way possible. I lost a Mum, an aunt actually, the kindda aunt that is never really considered an aunt but a Mum. The kindda aunt that is never really called "Aunty", but "Mummy". The kindda Mum that I knew I always had in my corner whenever, wherever, for whatever reason...even when the actual Mum got cranky. The love in her heart would make me feel invincible. The love in her eyes flaming like a ruthless inferno. She would walk through a fire for us if she had to....

Death. Loss. The pain of loss never gets old. It is totally indescribable. There's no exact word to describe   how it feels. The feelings may vary from person to person. It definitely hurts really really bad, we'd all agree. It’s a raw feeling, it’s a fresh wound, it’s a heaviness that one can’t contain, it pulls at one’s heartstrings, and it drives one into UNsane and unsafe brooding. It breaks one down, it almost cuts off one’s air just by every flashing thought, every memory, every recall. There’s pain. There’s sadness. There’s regret. There’s depression. There’s frustration. There’s anguish. There’s resign. There’s resolve. No one will ever fully understand or know how to describe how they feel when they lose someone. No one will ever be able to console the bereaved appropriately or enough for them to feel better. No one ever truly or fully heals from the pain of the loss of a loved one. That being said, one has to heal. One has to come out of this deep dark unending abyss ...